It is difficult for me to know how to reach out and serve others because I am so shy and afraid. I justify it with kids crazy schedules and no babysitters, but I can do better about that since we are now closer to family. I do not want to be afraid anymore. I want to use the courage I got last year (high five for real life application!). Since, I don't know exactly what to do or how to serve, I thought I would just try and focus on other people over myself, in a broader way.
So this year, I am going to move closer to my goal of serving others. It is a small step, as I have no actual thing that I am planning on being involved in, but just a word to keep in the forefront of my mind. I just simply want to think of others first. I want to, in every situation, do what would be better for someone else instead of myself. When I am talking to someone I don't want to be on my phone or thinking about what else I have to do; when I am with Shea in the day or my kids after school I want to serve them- and their friends and teachers- with a smile (I am already helping out at their school and I want to do more); when I am with Jeff I want to think of things that would make him happy. I can be so bad about being thoughtful. For my family, or in laws, or friends-when someone is sick or has a baby or needs a ride- or a friend- I want to be ready to help. I want to think of the thing that they need and do it- not next week or when I have time- right then. Even when I am tired, and even when I don't know exactly how to help. I want to be available and have my mind ready to think of something, even if its small. I feel like I often want to help, I just don't think of something in the moment. Or if I do, I wait and do it "when I have time". And way too often, it never gets done. I want to teach my family that we are not the only people in the world and that they are here to serve. I know it starts with them, and I want them to benefit from this, but I want it even more to be about the other people that surround us.
We will see how long this lasts and if it even really gets me outside of myself. There are no guarantees, but I am hoping this catapults me into doing more for others than I thought. I hope it changes my mindset and teaches my kids that we always to put others first. And maybe even allow me to help on a bigger scale. I have to start small and I cant really do much, but I do want what I do to matter to me and at least change me, even if it does very little around me.