4/21/15

Best Dog Ever


Gracie is the sweetest dog in the world.  I can not say enough good things about her.
She lets any kid climb all over her and play with her and dress her up.
She has been through every birth, first steps, words and move with us.  A constant companion and friend to all of us.  She listens and cuddles well when we need her and never begs for too much attention.
 The other day she let Shea take her for a walk.
She never pulled or tugged on her-
she just patiently walked beside her every step of the way.  It took
F O R E V E R, but she never, ever tried to go ahead.
It was the best thing to watch, so, of course,  I had to document it.
I hope you life forever gracie.  

4/9/15

Thank you Ryan Adams

love everything
I dont know if he really said it, but I saw somewhere that he said
"There's nothing wrong with loving the crap out of everything.  Negative people find their walls. So never apologize for your enthusiasm.  Never.  Ever.  Never."
I just LOVE IT.
Celebrate Always.

4/8/15

First Annual Cousin Easter

kids on the porch
When I was growing up, we would go to my grandmother's house for Easter every year with all of my cousins.  We did it for Christmas and some years every Sunday.  She was one of the greatest people in my life (and in everyone's life that knew her) and I miss her like crazy and listen to songs and think about her even now.  So many of my childhood memories are at her house or doing something with her.  I wish I had the emotional energy to write exactly how much I miss her and respect her, but thats not for tonight.
Since she died, we have not all gotten together for Easter as a big family.
bexar eats an egg
And that is crushing.
This year I decided to take Easter into my own hands and host it over here.  (And then hijack it every year to come.)
sass and ben and brazos
I am a such a sucker for traditions.
I love them so much. And my cousins.  My cousins, as everyone knows that reads this, are some of my very closest friends.  I have missed seeing them every week and every holiday.  I want my kids to feel the same way about their kids as I do about them.  I don't know why I didn't think to host Easter before, but I am so glad I did.
Not everyone was able to come, as I decided to do this about two weeks before Easter… BUT next year, its on guys.
lukes big egg
sass, tj and ben
We did everything that I had done growing up and it was pretty much one of my favorite Easters ever.
help
tiffany and abbi
m and c
We dyed eggs and spilled dye everywhere, the kids hunted eggs that we stuffed and hid all over the lawn, we used the exact same eggs that we all hunted with when I was a kid and each kid got a "big eggs" that we put money in, ate without enough seating, or tea, or warm pies, because I am not the best at hosting (yet), ate way to much candy and videoed and interviewed every kid about the eggs in their baskets, you guessed it, just like when we were kids.   We only lacked confetti eggs (that I looked for everywhere to no avail).
(Oh and Shea and Hilary are asleep during all the picture taking time.)
grown ups
big kids
linda and james e
egg sorting
showing them how its done
egg dyeing
blurry group pic
Thank you guys SO much for coming.  Love you all so so much.
It just meant more to me than I can write here.
Cant wait for many more years to come.

4/7/15

Jesus.

because he loved me so
Best EASTER ever.
I decided to give up sugar for lent this year- not sugar, I should clarify- desserts.  As most of you know, I am a candyaholic and used to eat candy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  I have since moved to eating it after breakfast, lunch, and dinner- but at least I have added healthier items to my diet.
(Wine is not dessert, obviously)
I am not always a lenter.  I have only done it a few times before, but I just kind of wanted to do it.  I really cant explain why, but I think I just wanted to grow closer to God.
This year has been a tough one for my faith, and just for my overall growth as a person.
We are reading about Moses in BSF this year, and there are so many times that I have questioned why God made us at all throughout our study.  I have cried and struggled more than I think I ever have.  I ask weird questions in my group and probably alarm everyone in it most weeks.  I really want to know God- I don't want to sort of know Him.  I am not good with small talk or acquaintances.  I like to be very close to the people that I am close to.  I don't want anything about my walk with God to be fake or cheesy or annoying.  I want to ask all the questions.  I want to be able to understand why He hardened Pharaohs heart; why Moses couldn't go into the promised land after all he had done; why He put up with the Isrealites when they were so annoying and complained all the time; why there was so much war and on and on.  I wrestled so much with all of it, to the point of exhaustion.  I would then take that frustration to my small group time at church and bug the crap out of them with my questions that were either too specific to ever know or to broad to get a handle on.  One night, after a long small group session when I was still talking to Jeff about it in bed, he said that he felt like I was being resentful of God in the way that I was questioning Him and my attitude that went along with it.  When I questioned God when I didn't understand why something happened,  I would get frustrated and angry.  I had never thought about that and it really really hit me hard.  I never wanted God to think that I resented Him or anything that He had done just because I didn't understand.
SO, that was another thing for me to annoy everyone with at my next bsf group.  In the middle of it, I cried and really just opened up about not understanding why we were here in the first place.  I couldn't grasp why God had even made us if we were just going to sin and then be separated and He would have to send His Son.  I know I'm not worth it.
That is just so heavy for me.  I have such a hard time grasping it at all, and it makes me angry and upset and unable to sleep at night.
And like every other wednesday, my group was so wonderful and listened and prayed for me, and really were just so kind.
So, we broke for the big group time and in the middle of the lecture I got a text from my sister in law that she was having a baby girl.  I could not restrain my excitement and just burst into tears right there.  I felt such a strong connection to her and really just felt this over whelming sense of love for her right then.  I dont know why it was brought on once I knew her gender, but it was just incredibly real and I  immediately felt like my heart was going to explode.  In that moment- after I had just asked all of these women why God would make us at all- it really hit me like a freight train-
He loves us.  Thats it.
If I can love a baby that I have never met yet this much, how much more does He love me.  I can never ever grasp how much or why, but it was the most incredible moment of Him just showing me, right after my most frustrated moments of doubt, that He loves me.  That is why all of this is and was and will happen.  I don't have to understand- and in fact, I don't want to anymore.  The more I feel that I can understand, the more I put God in a box and limit Him to the constraints of my own mind.
I just have to have faith. I have to trust that He knows what He is doing and He is so much bigger than me and that He loves me.
So, this lent I complained a ton (just like the Isrealites) and cheated twice, but it just was the most incredible time of preparing myself for Easter weekend.  Once it rolled around, I was just so incredibly grateful for that love and sacrifice.  It has made me who I am.
Then, we had my whole family over and mimicked everything I did as a kid with some my cousins and it was just the absolute perfect end to one of the hardest and trying and awesome few weeks of my life.
So, this year, more than ever, I am so thankful for Jesus and His sacrifice and His love that surpasses all my knowledge.  I hope that I can be even the tiniest vessel of that love and that I can be a light in any way.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

4/2/15

Chobani ftw

eating yogurt
Last week Chobani, the yogurt company, contacted us about participating in their new Chobani Kids project in honor of National Nutrition month in March. They are introducing Chobani Tots and yogurt pouches and sleeves that contain real fruits and veggies and only natural ingredients.  We were THRILLED to be a part.
It just so happens that I LOVE their product and love greek yogurt. I eat it all the time, so I was all in. I use it instead of sour cream in so many dishes, put ranch packets into it to make ranch dip for veggies or chips, put granola on it, already feed it to my kids, etc.  We love it.  It has tons of protein and we have been eating it for years.
shea and sass
So, I was excited to get to do a post for something we really love already.
I told them we could do it this week and very quickly this week got away from me.  I started thinking that there wasn't going to be a time where we could all comb our hair and look presentable for pictures eating yogurt.
yogurt eating
Then, this afternoon, while we were sitting on the porch, Sass went and got some Chobani yogurt sleeves (that we put in the freezer so they are more like frozen yogurt) for her and Shea.  They sat on the porch eating them when it suddenly dawned on me that we were actually eating Chobani yogurt in a completely un staged setting and all I really needed was a camera.  SO, clearly I knocked over everything in my path, grabbed it before the yogurt melted too much and took these pics.  
chobani
We are so thankful Chobani let  us be apart of their campaign to help kids eat healthier.  Their products make it so easy and delicious.
IMG_5875
Best Day Ever.
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