Here it is, folks.
The inevitable word of the year.
Last years was "do unto others" or "others".
I feel like I did more for others at some points and at some points I was at my very wits ends and could barely function to get out of bed.
I had some rough parts of last year and last year was an adjustment overall. Shea is not an easy baby. She is fun and life and joy and all of those things. But she is busy and needs to be entertained 24/7. I am so thankful for her. I know how incredible it is to have her in our lives. And it is not lost on me that some people are aching for a busy baby in any form. Or a healthy one. She is beautiful and the absolute best thing that has happened to me after the other three, and makes me so happy, but she can also take absolutely every single second of my time and energy. I also had a weird summer and went through a mini life thing and have since come out of. It was tough for me. People have much worse problems. People have much more to deal with on a daily basis than I will ever understand. This is nothing compared to that. This was a bump in the road but I took it hard. A lot of that situation has resolved itself and I have been able to find so much joy in creating again. That sounds so dumb. But I really have. The sweatshirts and sitting behind this screen making logos and ideas was life giving in a way that is too cheesy to put into words. SO thank you to every single one of you that bought something. That encouraged us and owned one, even if you didnt like it. It meant a ton.
So, needless to say, there were times that I wished my word of the year was 'me' and not 'others'. I am thankful for the people that brought me out of myself and helped me do more.
This year I am taking it up a notch with 'give'. And I dont mean lice when I say 'give'. Though we could have shared that with some of you this holiday season.
To do, like last year, requires action. This year, giving, to me, is even more. It is a heart thing. It is generosity from deep within. It is giving my time, my money, my stuff, my emotions, my presence. I was telling bob and allison this over the break and bob told me one of the hardest thing for him to give was his attention. He was used to being on his phone or thinking about something (which he is actually hardly ever doing when I am with him and I regard him as someone who gives his full attention all the time). That took an even deeper meaning to my word. Giving my attention 100% of the time that I can is difficult. But something I want to strive to do. I want to give more to my kids, to my husband, to my friends. But I also want to give when I dont have it in me. I want to give when I am nervous about the person on the side of the road; when I am tired and want to put my child down for a nap and not watch someone else's kids on top of my own; when I want to drive thru instead of making something healthy at home. I want to give forgiveness instead of staying angry; I want to give time off to Jeff to do whatever he wants instead of thinking of what I think I deserve; I want to give extra time to the child that is driving me insane because clearly they need the attention; I want to hang out with and listen to the person that needs to talk and be heard even when it feels like there is not time to be still and listen. I want to be generous with more than I have and watch how that changes me. How God changes my heart and reminds me what He gave to me in Christ and how Christ gave everything. I want to be more open to others needs, more aware, and more apt to help. I want my heart to overflow with gratefulness for what I have, and then want to give more to others. I can hold things tightly when I love them. Or when I am afraid. I dont want to do that. I want to be free. Free to give, to love, to share, to live.
Here's to 2015.
And all the generosity it can take.