7/15/13

Tyler, I will always call you home.

How about a post that is about a month late?  I feel like that is appropriate to my life right now.  Be-hind (to say the least). Old news, I guess.  
So, last month, about mid june, we moved out of Tyler.  We wanted to do it ourselves because it would be cheaper, and we thought, easier.  Jeff was doing an away rotation at his new job for the month of june so he was gone for about 3 days a week.  He had to come back mondays or thurs for clinic so it was always a crazy schedule.  We also have a trailer.  So, in full DIY fashion, we figured we could load the trailer everytime jeff came back and he could unload it every time he got to our new house.  It was not so bad, except that with every load I thought we were done.  I looked around like the optimist I can sometimes be, and felt like the house was almost completely empty of everything.  In reality, we had a lot to do.   Everytime I got too smily, someone would come help and jolt me back to reality and remind me we still did have to pack the mixer or the bedding or whatever it was that I figured we could throw in the car.  I could not have done it without those reality checks.  Sometimes other people had to physically pack what was in front of me because I could not really see how badly we did not need it in the next two weeks.  (Even though I could readily justify why I absolutely had to juice/mix/grate/wear whatever it was that was in front of me.)  It is crazy how things become so normal to look at, that its hard to realize that they havent always been there.  and in this case, that they have to go with you.
Then, the last time we loaded up a uhaul to make sure we got it all and there was no weight limit we could reach.  My neighbor allie, brooke, my brother michael, and the maresch's did most of the work, while I mostly just held back tears.  
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We worked non stop.
That stupid fish had to be put in first and in the most protected way possible.  It ended up being quite the puzzle.
We had a dinner at the neighbor's house one the last nights and stayed up laughing, drinking and saying goodbye.  Then, we finished Tyler off at Stanley's bbq for our last supper before leaving Sunday. The kids put on quite the live performance and the bbq melted in our mouths.
On Sunday, I thought we would load up the last little bit by ourselves and kind of head out bc we had seen everyone and made them help so much already.  But, before we had even loaded anything up, there they were, all the neighbors in our yard, loading, cleaning and making sure every last thing was done.  I dont think there are words that could have accurately expressed my gratitude.
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Knowing these ladies as my neighbors, and their families, and the rest of that street, definitely changed my life.
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And, these kids morphed seemlessly into my family and thinking about them to this day makes me teary. I think that seeing someone else's children everyday and watching them grow up before your eyes is a piece of heaven, and I am beyond thankful for the chance to watch these incredible kids grow into the people they have become.
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Then, we family pictured it up for the last time in front of that magical house that I will always cherish.   And, I am sure you have seen this on Instagram or Facebook, but while I was driving away, I kind of vented my sentimentality on Instagram and thought I would use it to sum up that day over here.
"I wish so badly that I could put into words what this house and this town has meant to me. To say that a place can change you seems like a sentimental hyperbole (of which I am obviously fond of) and something that could not happen in such a short time. I thought I knew what loyalty and loving people meant- But I have been shown and taught to love like a family and seen what it looks like to be taken care of and carried in this place. And I've seen what it looks like when people with sometimes only a few things in common, love each others differences, truly accept flaws, and grow because of one another. I've seen true celebration of others in their victories and have been, I feel, changed because of this. I leave here so full, and yet can not escape the deep hole in my chest of the loss of not waking up tomorrow in that home that I will forever treasure. I can honestly say I felt one if the truest versions of myself in Tyler, in spite of fearing as though I would never fit in in a town of people that dress up for the grocery store. I have been reminded that you learn the most from people who challenge you and thankfully will carry those friendships with me long past this house, street, and residency. Thank you Tyler, TX for growing and teaching me. You will always have a very special place in my heart. Thank you Lord for the last three years."
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And with that, we headed out.  (and returned 4 days later.  More on that soon)

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