Elias

Remember that time that Elias lived with us and we used google translate to talk to him all the time? Just leaving this here so I come back and fill this in with the whole story..

Knitting

(I didnt think I would be far enough on this hat to get to where I needed double pointed needles on my trip so I improvised with coffee straws :)

Real grandma talk- Knitting is my favorite thing ever, think.  It's so dorky, but it just makes me so happy! And I have found this whole community of people online that love it too that have amazing tutorials and patterns that have taught me so much.  I am so so thankful for it and have had so much fun pushing myself farther than I thought I could go.

This was the first color work that I had ever done and the hats up there were the first bobble pieces I had ever done.  They were clearly easy projects, but trying new things and pushing myself has been just so much fun.  

I can honestly not talk about this sweater without getting kind of emotional and I know that is so freakin wierd. I know.  But this sweater changed the trajectory of my knitting and what I am able to do.  This tutorial really changed the game for me.  I had made a sweater before and I had made a few baby ones, so it wasn't my first.  But it was the first one that I made up on my own, thanks to Karen.  

I read each blog post that she posted and took in as much information as I could to take me to the next step and every time I tried it on and it fit I just felt like flying!

Then I made these Iris sweaters by Jenny Gordy for my nieces that are so cute, but done completely differently and that was so fun too! The first one took me four times to get the front right, but I learned so much by taking it out and trying again.

Which led me to Boyland knit works who is the most beautiful fiber artist with her knitting patterns. I am obsessed with every single thing she creates and I want to make every singe one.  

I was almost late to get on the plane to Africa with my mom and Christopher because I was getting the yarn for this sweater from the wonderful Mckinney Knittery and I worked on it constantly on the plane and then a ton at home.  I took a break to make Kai and Presley's sweaters and then worked on it again after the new year.

This was the first step into lace work and it was very challenging for me. Especially with such thin yarn, but I did love it.

I ended up finishing it for the annual meeting dinner when everyone came in from Caris for the week and it was just the coolest complete circle for me.  Trying something new and saying yes to things that I wouldn't usually do or that I would be too scared to do has taught me so much more than I could have ever learned sitting on the sidelines. 

I want to be someone who says yes. I dont want to be afraid- or if I am afraid I want to not be too afraid to try.  I want to teach my kids that failing and starting over is so much better than not trying.  I want them to know that working hard at something is so much better than being lazy or having things come easy. 

Now I am working on one for Ben.  Hopefully I finish it before it gets too hot, 😉

12

 Happy Birthday Avery.

 It was literally yesterday.  

YESTERDAY that I held that first pregnancy test in my hand.

I cant handle this. 

You are the most beautiful pre teen and I could not be more proud of you.  

 She wanted a red carpet and a movie and a modeling shoot and all kinds of things that were too much but allison had the brilliant idea to do a calendar since she is 12!  Genius.

So we set up this backdrop we borrowed from Nana and Papa and she took a million photos and edited them and then we put them into a calendar on minted and there was fun had by all.

IMG_7193 from kristen barstad on Vimeo.

IMG_7194 from kristen barstad on Vimeo.

Maggie and Shea also figured out how it all worked and did a pretty cute photo shoot themselves.

 

Please stop growing. Please?

Shea's Book of Life Party

Shea (and all of us) love the movie Book of Life about Dia de los Muertos with a love triangle, renditions of Mumford and Son songs and a little Radiohead- what more could you want?  

It was kind of like the first Coco and it has almost the exact same Land of the Remembered feel with the magical colors and floating lanterns and flags and lights.  

It is beautiful.  

We tried to recreate it as best we could and I never want to take the decorations down.  It was just so magical.  The pictures really dont do it justice.  If we had known that this was her party theme when the real Dia de los Muertos was going on, I could have really stocked up on stuff, but we found what we could and I am definitely saving the decorations for every year.

My friends from school who grew up in Mexico loaned us some of the stuff that they own and use for parties and it just made the party.  Jeff got a poncho and we had a sombrero and serving dishes and a guitar! It was amazing.  And Jan made Shea a Maria- main girl who every body loves- costume and it was perfection!

 Then we busted out a piñata (even though Jeff said that is probably mixing up Mexican customs.  I feel like they probably had a lot of piñata in the Land of the Remembered).

 Shea loved the piñata and everyone loved helping her break it.
It really was just so much fun.
Then we sang to her on a cake that she and sawyer made with jeff earlier that day.  And sang again and again. She loveddddd it.  Ate it all up.  Until the last time when we dared sing to Victoria.  Then it was almost as bad as last year when sass tried to blow out her candles and help her. bahahhah!!

Happy birthday Shea.
I can not believe that you are 4.  You bring such joy and spunk and gentleness and love and also opinions that you hold to very tightly.  You have shown me what it means to step out of my comfort zone and how much joy that can bring as I have watched you have to go out of yours and seen you shine.  You have taught me patience and you bring me so much joy.  To be loved by you is truly an honor and I am so so thankful you are mine!

36

The plan was to get home on Dec 1 from Africa and then party the next day for my birthday (that was my plan, anyway.)

Then we almost missed our flight from London and literally had to do the run to the terminal with our hands out saying "hold the plane!!" and praying they would.

Luckily they did (even though I got there way before mom and christopher because after all the running and getting on the train and all of that they went to the WRONG TERMINAL. Luckily I made it).

Needless to say, we made it with zero time to spare and I got to be home for my birthday.

I woke up to balloons in my mantle from Vic and Rachel and it was such a perfect way to start my day!

And while I was gone Jeff and the kids hung lights in the back yard and the rainbow that Jeff and I had bought when we were in Comfort, Texas (that practically weighs 400 pounds).

 Jeff got the solo stove all heated and ready to go and we moved tables outside and played games and ate pizza.  It was very last minute, but fun.

 I made everyone look at all of my africa photos and videos.

 We stayed by the fire until like 2 and then up until 4 when Jeff told me he had to go bed.

Then I got bangs and loved my life.

I am so thankful for this year.  It has been so hard in so many ways, but it has taught me so much.  Last year on my birthday I was so depressed I could barely get out of bed.  I cried all the time and just was at such a low point in my depression.  This year I felt so alive.  I would like to thank wellbutrin, the Lord, Jeff and my friends who listened to me when I went round and round in my head (and out loud) with the same thoughts that I couldn't move away from.  I am thankful to have gone through it, and even to still struggle with it in some way, because now I understand depression.  I felt so much shame and wanted to pretend it wasn't there, but there was no way for me to do that.  I knew so many people going through so many terrible things that I just thought I could work out or eat healthy or do something to help me see how amazing my life was.  But it just doesnt work that way.  I have always been supportive of people who take medicine for it, but struggled to get on it myself until I felt like I had exhausted every other resource.  But since I have been on meds, I have just been able to be myself again. I feel miles away from last years birthday and I could not be more thankful (**pops wellbutrin into mouth and washes it down with cold coffee).