12/2/17

36

The plan was to get home on Dec 1 from Africa and then party the next day for my birthday (that was my plan, anyway.)
Then we almost missed our flight from London and literally had to do the run to the terminal with our hands out saying "hold the plane!!" and praying they would.
Luckily they did (even though I got there way before mom and christopher because after all the running and getting on the train and all of that they went to the WRONG TERMINAL. Luckily I made it).
Needless to say, we made it with zero time to spare and I got to be home for my birthday.
I woke up to balloons in my mantle from Vic and Rachel and it was such a perfect way to start my day!
And while I was gone Jeff and the kids hung lights in the back yard and the rainbow that Jeff and I had bought when we were in Comfort, Texas (that practically weighs 400 pounds).
 Jeff got the solo stove all heated and ready to go and we moved tables outside and played games and ate pizza.  It was very last minute, but fun.
 I made everyone look at all of my africa photos and videos.


 We stayed by the fire until like 2 and then up until 4 when Jeff told me he had to go bed.
Then I got bangs and loved my life.
I am so thankful for this year.  It has been so hard in so many ways, but it has taught me so much.  Last year on my birthday I was so depressed I could barely get out of bed.  I cried all the time and just was at such a low point in my depression.  This year I felt so alive.  I would like to thank wellbutrin, the Lord and Jeff and my friends how listened to me when I went round and round in my head (and out loud) with the same thoughts that I couldn't move away from.  I am thankful to have gone through it and even to still struggle with it in some way, so that I know what its like to be depressed.  I felt so much shame and wanted to pretend it wasn't there, but there was no way for me to do that.  I knew so many people going through so many terrible things that I just thought I could work out or eat healthy or do something to help me see how amazing my life was.  But it just doesnt work that way.  I have always been supportive of people who take medicine for it, but struggled to get on it myself until I felt like I had exhausted every other resource.  But since I have been on meds, I have just been able to be myself again. I feel miles away from last years birthday and I could not be more thankful (**pops wellbutrin into mouth and washes it down with cold coffee).

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